Missing Pieces
by Becks7
Summary: How can Wheeler and Linka be close one minute and fighting the next? What if we could fill in the blanks with stuff that happened between episodes? How about if Linka explains the Missing Pieces instead?
1. Chapter 1

A few months ago, I bought all the CP eps on DVD and watched them all. I wrote this fic shortly afterwards, but it sort of got lost in the shuffle of real life, and then other ideas for stories. I came across it, re-read it, and wondered why I never got around to polishing it up and posting it...so here it is!

Summary: Takes place during "Missing Linka" but references stories prior to that episode. As you all know, there were certain episodes where things looked good for our favorite couple, like they might actually get together but then the next episode, things weren't so good. Chalk it up to different writers, but let's pretend there were things that happened off screen, things left up to our imagination...this is how I imagined things when I watched all the episodes. Overactive imagination, I know, but hopefully it makes a good fic!

A/N: I tried writing from Wheeler's point of view in past stories, now I think I'll give Linka's POV a shot. Forgive me if I screw it up. In some ways, I can relate to Linka, but mostly I like being goofy and a smartass like Wheeler. However, I'm not the best at expressing my feelings for people, I care alot, but don't show it. I can express it in writing though, and I can admit my feelings to myself, but not others...I think that's the biggest similarity between myself and Linka, so hopefully I can do her justice when I write from her point of view and try to convey her feelings.

* * *

**Missing Pieces**

Wheeler was not taking the news of my departure very well. When he and Ma-Ti flew me back to Russia, the flight passed in near silence. Wheeler insisted on coming with us, and yet, did not say a word to me the whole time. I thought for sure he would spend the entire flight trying to convince me not to stay in Russia and to come back with them. Part of me hoped that he would, but in my heart, I knew I had to be with my family. If my grandmother was dying, I needed to be with her or try my best to find out what was causing the sickness so that hopefully it could be cured.

When we landed and I saw the look on Mishka's face, I knew that I would not be leaving any time soon. Worry was etched onto his face and he looks like he has not slept in days. Giving my ring up was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Seeing the look on Wheeler's face, and having to deny him when he tried to put the ring back on my finger was even harder.

When I went inside and saw my grandmother sleeping in her bed, I almost did not recognize her. She had always been so full of life, even as age slowed her down, she still had the sparkle of youth in her eyes. She opened her eyes briefly when I sat on the edge of her bed. That sparkle was gone. She was so weak; she could barely manage to smile at me. No, I would not be returning to the Planeteers. I would never see my friends again…well, of course, I would see them again, but not often, and soon I will be replaced as a Planeteer. I hope that Gaia will find someone suitable for Wheeler's taste, and he will forget about me. I however, will never forget him. I need to say a proper goodbye. I rush outside and hope that Ma-Ti and Wheeler have not left yet. Thankfully, they were still going through the pre-flight check. Wheeler is the first to spot me and sadly, he gets the wrong impression.

"I knew you'd come back! Is your grandma doing better?"

"Nyet Wheeler. She is still terribly ill. I just came out to say goodbye. I did not say it before, but after seeing her…this is the end. I am not coming back." I say sadly, as I look at the ground.

Ma-Ti steps forward with Suchi.

"I am sorry it has to be this way Linka. Please keep us informed on how your Grandmother is doing."

"I am sorry too Ma-Ti. Unfortunately, unless I find out what is causing the sickness, I am afraid that the next time I contact you, it will not be with good news."

"Maybe we can help you," Wheeler says hopefully. "With all of the Planeteers on the job, we can figure this out in no time, your Grandma will get better, and you don't have to leave."

"I appreciate the offer Wheeler, but you are needed elsewhere. This is not an eco-emergency. It is a family matter. I cannot burden the Planeteers with this. But thank you."

"It's not a burden. If this affects you, it affects all of us. We're a team," Wheeler offers.

"What if there is a serious eco-emergency? I could not go. I must stay here until I find out what is happening. I will be useless as a teammate," I explain.

"But--"

"We understand Linka. We will not make this any harder on you than it already is…right Wheeler?"

"Uh, yeah. Right."

"Goodbye my friend," Ma-Ti says as he and Suchi give me a hug and board the Geo Cruiser.

"Wheeler I…I will miss you. Your jokes. Your obnoxious lines. Your persistence. If you are ever in Russia or close by, be sure to visit," I say.

"We will. Linka, are you absolutely sure this is what you want?"

"Nyet Wheeler, I do not want to leave, and I also do not want my Grandmother to be ill. But she is, so I _HAVE_ to go. I hope one day you will understand why I must do this, and how hard it is for me to say goodbye."

"I'll try. I just never thought it would end like this. I mean, this is it right? No more on again off again? It's over."

"Da, it is over…for good this time."

"It never gets any easier and before, at least you were still around. At least I still had a chance to get you back. Why can't we make this work?"

"Wheeler, we cannot make it work when we see each other everyday. Do you really think it will work when we are thousands of miles apart?" I ask.

"Maybe it'll be better that way. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"And it will. Until the next pretty face comes along and you forget all about me."

"I won't forget about you. I could **NEVER** forget you," he promises.

"I wish I could believe that, but even when I am standing right next to you, sometimes you forget about me. Like last week at Mardi Gras, while Gi and Ma-Ti went off to solve the problem in the bayou, **YOU** were collecting beads from half naked girls. Where was I?"

"I don't know," he says.

"Exactly. And I just told you that I was standing right next to you."

"But that's what you do at Mardi Gras, Babe. It's all about the beads!"

"Da, all about the beads and not my feelings. That is why it never works. And if that is how you behave when I am there, what will you do when I am so far away? You say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder,' but I have heard another expression that goes 'out of sight, out of mind.' I have a hard time believing that it will not be like that."

"So that's how you really feel about me?" He asks.

"Nyet. This is how I really feel about you." I pull him towards me and kiss him with a sadness I have never felt before. "Goodbye Yankee," I say as stroke his cheek before I turn to walk away.

He reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me back. Before I can respond or react, he is kissing me again. It is rough and angry.

"Goodbye Linka. I hope you and Mishka are very happy together."

What is he talking about? How can me and my brother be happy when our grandmother is dying?

"Please forgive me Wheeler. I cannot bear to know that you left hating me."

"Don't you get it Linka? I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I…lo--."

"Nyet Wheeler. Do not say it," I plead as I place my fingers over his lips.

"No Linka, **SAY** it. Tell me. I need to hear it. I need to know that there is something there and I haven't been imagining it all these years. Or have I? All this time you knew you would eventually come back to this Mishka guy. Was I just a distraction?"

"Wheeler you are misunderstanding my relationship with Mishka. And you have not been imagining things. But I cannot say it, and I cannot hear it. What is the point? It is over. Goodbye." I turn my back to him and I hear him walk away.

"Goodbye Linka. I _do_ love you," he says quietly.

When I hear the Geo Cruiser taking off, I turn around to watch it go. When I can no longer see it, I confess, "I love you too Wheeler." What was the point in me saying it aloud if no one was around to hear it? Because I needed to hear myself say it. Little did I know, Wheeler had stayed behind and was standing behind a tree.

* * *

When I went inside and sat at my sleeping Grandmother's bedside, I was alone with my thoughts and had nothing to occupy my mind. Mishka was taking the opportunity to catch up on some sleep. I should have done the same, but was not tired and have too much on my mind to even attempt to sleep. Of course, my thoughts went straight to Wheeler. Was he going to be ok? I am being silly. I am not _THAT_ important to him that leaving will be the end of his world. He is sad now, but he will get over it in a few weeks, if I know Wheeler. I, however, will take longer to heal. He has the others to comfort him and he will soon find someone else to focus his attention on. Maybe Gaia will replace me with a pretty British girl, or an Australian? At least then, he will not have to correct them all the time when they speak. That must have been frustrating for him. I just hope she is as patient with him as I was…It may not seem like it, but YES, I was patient with him. I did not kill him did I?

He got to me. The first day we met, he got to me. Sure, my first words to him were harsh, but I was a Soviet, and he is an American. We were supposed to hate each other. But no one told that to Wheeler. I had a huge misconception about Americans. I had never met one before I met Wheeler, so I had nothing to base my judgments on other than the propaganda that I had been fed all my life from television, other media, and school. I do not recall my father or Grandmother ever saying anything bad about Americans. I do not know why I did not take that into consideration and believed what others had told me. Maybe there are some Americans that think they are better than everyone else, but are other countries any different? The Soviet Union thought it was the best, Great Britain probably thinks it is the best. And now Russia, although she is just getting back on her feet, one day will believe we are the best. Is it wrong to have pride in your country? No.

There is a difference between pride and arrogance. Wheeler is proud to be an American, and I think, even more proud to be from New York, but he is not arrogant. He had never been exposed to other cultures, and suddenly, he was alone on an island with an African, Asian, Soviet, and Kayapo Indian. He did have his moments where he would make remarks about Ma-Ti's use of plants and herbs as cures, but those were not malicious remarks, they were just ignorance. I admit, I thought the same way, but never expressed my disbeliefs quiet as vocally as Wheeler did. As soon as he realized he was wrong though, Wheeler apologized.

One time in particular that stands out was when we were investigating a dragon spirit in Thailand. Of course, the so-called angry spirit ended up being a robot created by Hoggish Greedly, but still, Wheeler was a little rude in stating his disbelief in spirits. This was very early on in our time as Planeteers and we were all still getting used to each other. Wheeler and I had surprisingly gotten particularly close in those first few weeks. He was far less obnoxious when it was just the two of us. I had gotten to know him better than I had the others. Perhaps it was because although our cultures were very different, they were also very similar…at least compared to the other kids' cultures. To my surprise, Wheeler knew alot about the space program and we shared some good-natured teasing about who was better, his astronauts or my cosmonauts. Of course, he pulled the "we landed on the moon first" card and ended the argument.

I found myself reluctantly attracted to Wheeler. Upon our first meeting, I had convinced myself that he was the most obnoxious person I had ever met and wanted nothing to do with him. But those moments we had spent alone, talking and getting to know more about each other…it made being far from home easier. This "imperialist dog," as I had once called him, was turning into my closest friend. I soon realized that I wanted to be more than friends. It only took a few days since we first met until the Yankee had won me over. Not with his obnoxious lines, but by just being himself…I saw a side of him that he did not reveal to the others. It was during one of our long walks on the beach that he first held my hand and I did not pull away. Our walks became somewhat of a tradition. Every night after dinner, we would go for a walk. By our third week on Hope Island, handholding had progressed to his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist. It was a comfortable pace for me. I do not know what his past relationships had been like, but I was rather inexperienced. After all, I was only 16 and had spent much of my free time helping my Grandmother around the house and playing my music. I was not very social to begin with and Mishka did a pretty good job of playing big brother and scaring off any boys who showed any interest.

Back to our trip to Thailand: When we split up into separate groups in search of the dragon spirit, Wheeler and I ended up together. When I voiced my concern over splitting up, Wheeler said that he liked the idea because it was the first chance he and I had gotten to be alone. He was right. When we were on missions, I missed our walks on the beach. I also missed the Wheeler I knew. When we were around the others, he was putting on a show. Now that we were alone, he was back to being sweet. His words got to me. He genuinely wanted to be alone with me, just as I had missed spending time alone with him. And in the dark forest in the middle of nowhere Thailand, we would have shared our first kiss…If it had not have been for that dragon.

What happened next was the beginning of the end for us. When my foot got stuck in a cluster of tree roots, Wheeler refused to leave me, and instead, risked his own life to save mine, I had a rude awakening. This boy, who I had just met a few weeks ago, was ready to die for me. For a while, I thought he had. I was devastated. I have never felt so guilty in my life. I thought of his parents. How they had lost their only child because of me. I knew he and his father did not have a good relationship. Now they never would. What would it do to his father? Would he feel guilty for never mending their broken relationship? Would his friends and family blame me? Thankfully, Wheeler was fine.

When we returned to Hope Island, we went on another one of our walks. For me, this walk did not hold the same excitement as in the past. This walk would most likely be our last. I told Wheeler I could no longer do this. Our involvement with each other could go no further than just teammates. We had a great responsibility to the Earth, and to our fellow Planeteers. He could not do foolish things like risk his life to save mine and that if I was going to be a distraction to him, it was best if our relationship remained platonic.

He did not take it well. He tried to convince me that he would have done the same for anyone else. I told him I could never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me. I was not changing my mind. Our relationship was over before it had really begun.

The next few weeks, it was obvious that our friendship was strained. We argued more. He acted more childish and immature. I knew this was not the real Wheeler and it frustrated me to see him like this. We still had a few good moments. I remember he wanted to do something nice for me on my birthday. Unfortunately, he thought getting me an exotic present like an ivory necklace would be a good idea. Kwame and Ma-Ti tried to tell him that it was a horrible idea and once Wheeler saw what poachers like Plunder were doing for ivory and how they were getting it, he realized what Kwame and Ma-Ti were talking about. Instead, he got me a toy rocket ship. I set it on the nightstand next to my bed where it remains today. I hope when Gi packs my stuff up to send it to me here, she takes care in making sure the rocket ship does not get damaged.

I think there may have been times when I gave him false hope. I wanted to be nice to him. After all, I wanted us to remain friends. I really did value his friendship, even if it was hard on me to try to hide my feelings. Of course, I still had feelings for him. They did not just go away over night. Even when he was a jerk and I got angry with him, I still cared about him. And I know there were many times when I was mean to him and used harsh words. I had to. Not just to push him away, but for myself as well. Sometimes I thought it would be easier if I could get him to hate me. This was not possible. Wheeler was incapable of hate…unless you are an eco-villain.

However, it was impossible to resist his charm. I soon found myself looking for reasons to spend time with him. One of our favorite pastimes was playing computer games. I beat him on the games involving strategy. He beat me on the games of chance…and sports games. I wanted so badly to beat him on his US vs. The World hockey game, to get redemption for the 1980 Olympics when the Americans beat the Soviets, even though we were both too young to remember that game. Try as I might, I could never win. At least I always beat him at chess.

I suppose you can say we were "on again" when we traveled to DC to stop Sly Sludge from dumping waste into National Parks across the US. Our happiness did not last long though. Once again, I convinced myself that I was being selfish in wanting to be with him and not taking into consideration the risks he was willing to take for me. I had to put distance between us again. And so the arguing escalated. It seemed as though he was fighting with me, just for the sake of yelling or disagreeing. His stubbornness and reluctance to listen to me almost got him and Ma-Ti lost in the Arctic. It is probably a good thing that he and Ma-Ti were not with Gi, Kwame, and I when we got captured by Nukem, but at the time, he was just being bull headed for the sake of arguing with me.

No matter how frustrated I got with him, there were always instances that reminded me of how much I cared for him. One time he was out surfing in a storm, even though Gi warned him to come in, and he went missing. I was worried I would never see him again. I was afraid I had made a big mistake. Now he would never know how I really felt. I would never have the chance to tell him. The thing that saddened me the most though was, I thought I had lost a friend. I would never hear his laugh again or his jokes. We found him washed up on the shore with a bad knock to the head. All was well…

…Until a week later when a cave in had trapped him with Dr. Blight and nuclear radiation from her time traveling device. Captain Planet was unable to break through the ice due to the radiation, which made him weak. So I did the only thing there was left to do. The others and I dug through the ice. It took an hour, but we finally got to him. Gi gave me away and said that it was my idea and was not going to stop until we got him. I tried to cover and say I would have done it for anyone…which is true, but knowing that Wheeler was on the other side of that ice and in danger, I felt more of a sense of urgency. And we made it out in time to welcome in the first day of the New Year. I know Wheeler had his heart set on that party he had planned on Hope Island, but I think he was still satisfied by the beautiful sight of the sun rising over the arctic and being with friends. After I finished playing "Auld Lang Sine," I walked up to Wheeler. I did not know what to do or what to say. I wanted to hold him and let him know how happy I was that he was ok; that I do not know what I would have done if anything had happened to him. Could I tell him these things and still remain "just friends?" For Wheeler and I, there was always a fine line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. That line was and still is often blurred. Can we really _ONLY_ be just friends? Can we spend time together and not feel disappointed that all we are doing is talking? Can we hug without lingering a little longer? That instance, I chose to ignore the voice in my head telling me to keep away. He could have died. I knew I should be thankful that I still have the chance to wish him a happy new year, and I was going to do it with a hug. I will never forget that conversation.

"Happy New Year Yankee," I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Thanks Ruskie Tootskie. Same to you," he said as he returned my embrace. "And thanks for saving me. I wouldn't be here to see the new year if it weren't for you…even though you would have done it for anyone."

"It is true, I would have, but I confess, I dug faster because it was you in there. I am glad you are ok. I do not know what I would do if you were not a part of my life."

"I do. You would go back to the Soviet Union, there would be a huge hole in the ozone layer, and you'd be in charge of distributing rations to the people. But don't worry, I'm here now and we're gonna make sure that hole doesn't happen. And we're all gonna be Planeteers for a very long time. We have to be or else horrible things will happen."

I gave him a strange look and he proceeded to tell me about his trip through time. It was bizarre. I wondered if the oxygen levels were low and he passed out and imagined all this. Thinking back to this conversation makes me wonder what these "horrible things" are that will happen. I had completely forgotten about that conversation until now. I wonder if Wheeler remembers. Is that another reason he did not want me to leave? Is it the only reason?

No. I know better than that. Perhaps I am just trying to convince myself that I am doing the right thing. I _AM_ doing the right thing am I not? Da, of course I am. I love my Grandmother and she needs me. I also love the Planeteers, and according to Wheeler, they need me too. They are like family to me. I am torn. I should contact Ma-Ti and tell him that I will be returning, just not yet. Not until I know what is wrong with my Grandmother, or God forbid, not until after she has passed. I will remain here with her and try to make her as comfortable as possible in her last days if I cannot save her myself. And I am going to do my best to save her. I will not let her down like I let my cousin Boris down.

I know that ultimately, it was Skumm that caused Boris' death, but I cannot help but blame myself. I was careless and allowed myself to be tricked into taking Bliss. I should have been more alert. Looking back, Boris' sudden willingness to give up drugs after being so stubborn and mean about it earlier was odd. I should have been suspicious then. If I had, I would have never been tricked into eating the Bliss with my blintz and Boris would still be alive.

That was a very hard time for me. Not only did I lose my cousin, I also lost Wheeler…again…through my own doing. And although I pushed him away, he still helped me through it all. I did not want anyone to see me struggle through the pain of withdrawal, but Wheeler insisted on being there for me. He rarely left my bedside. I tried to get him to leave. I tried to appear strong and in control. But I could not. He held my hand when I cried and held me in his arms to comfort me when I woke up screaming. He brought me food and made sure I was eating properly, and was always prepared with a cool washcloth to help ease my fevers. For the first few nights, he slept in a chair next to my bed. By the third night, I felt bad for him. Surly that was not comfortable. I told him to go back to his room and sleep. I insisted on it. He agreed to leave, but promised to be back first thing in the morning. Wheeler left, but did not go far. Instead of sleeping in a chair next to my bed, he sat in a chair outside my door. When I had another horrible dream, Wheeler was there in a matter of seconds to wake me up. I cried so much that night; I thought I would run out of tears.

Wheeler cried with me too…or maybe I should say, he cried _FOR_ me. He told me to lie down and try to get back to sleep, but I could not. I was too afraid of the demons that visited me when I slept. I laid my head on his shoulder and we just sat there for a while as he held me. I was still wide-awake, but I could tell Wheeler was fighting sleep. His head kept falling forward and jerking back. This was not right. I was not being considerate of him. I could at least pretend to be asleep and allow him to sleep. I told him I thought I was ready to lie down and so he got up and sat in his usual chair. I saw him struggling to get comfortable and immediately knew what I had to do. If I was going to sleep through the night and if Wheeler was going to get a comfortable night's sleep, Wheeler needed to lay in bed with me. After asking several times if I was sure, he curled up behind me and went right to sleep. Funny how the first time I ever had a man in my bed, I was going through withdrawal, he was sound asleep, and at this time, we were once again "just friends." I slept through the night with no more nightmares and when I woke up, I felt as if my withdrawal symptoms had lessened.

Once my head was clear, I began thinking more and more about what had happened. When I was strung out on Bliss, I tried to get Wheeler to take it too. I had tried to use his feelings for me to get him to do something harmful. I know it was the drugs making me act that way, but what kind of person does that? Why would anyone try to get someone they love to do something that is bad for them? That is what hurt worse than losing Boris…knowing that _HE_ had deliberately drugged me. I felt betrayed by someone I thought I could trust with my life. If I could not trust my own cousin, who could I trust? So I withdrew from everyone. Even Wheeler, who had been so good to me in the days following Boris' death, was being punished by my foul moods.

We definitely have had our ups and downs in the past. The months following Boris' death were not easy. I had this inner turmoil but could not pinpoint the exact cause. Guilt, lose, pain, anger, fear, loneliness…all of the above. Guilt over Boris' death, putting my friends in danger, trying to get Wheeler to take Bliss.

I lost my favorite cousin, and by pushing Wheeler away, I was losing my closest friend.

Pain. When someone you love dies, there is usually comfort in thinking back to all the happy times. I did not feel that with Boris. I had so many good memories of our childhood together, but I could only think of how he hurt me and almost got my friends killed or seriously injured. And it put me in a permanent bad mood that caused me to snap at the ones I cared most about. I saw the pain in Wheeler's eyes, but I did not apologize to him. Seeing how my behavior hurt Wheeler hurt me too, and yet I continued to act this way.

This made me angry, with myself, with Boris…, and with Wheeler. Why Wheeler? Because he would not be mean to me. He would not get angry and yell at me when I was being a…suka…a bitch. He would not stop trying to make me laugh or flirting. It drove me crazy. I wanted him to snap me out of it. To yell at me and tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, tell me I was being selfish. I wanted him to be mad at me for all the times I played with his emotions, needed him close, but pushed him away. He never did though. He was always kind and gentle with me. Even when we argued, it never lasted long and he never held a grudge. I was demeaning and degrading, insulted his intelligence, and yet he never gave up on me.

Then I lived with the fear that my family would blame me for not being able to save Boris. I thought they would hate me for not watching out for him and allowing Skumm to keep feeding Bliss to Boris. I also feared that I would relapse. That I would eventually feel so depressed that my mind would convince my body that it needed Bliss again. I knew all of Skumm's supply had been destroyed so I thought of other things I could take to feel good again. I never went through with it, for fear of something else…of what Wheeler would think of me, after all he did to help me through my addiction to Bliss.

The other emotion that tore me apart was loneliness. I was away from my family during a difficult time. I had the other Planeteers, but I had shut them out, distanced myself. And they had honored my wishes to be left alone…but would it have killed them to try and get me to come outside? To ask me to come play volleyball or force me to go swimming with them? Most of all, I missed hanging out with Wheeler. We no longer went for walks, watched TV, or played video games together. Even Wheeler was walking on eggshells around me. His flirtatious comments were not coming as frequently as usual. I felt like I had no friends.

It took about two months before I started to feel like myself again. One day, I even took the initiative to ask Wheeler to go for a walk with me. He no sooner accepted my offer and we got called away to the Crystal Chamber for an Eco-Emergency. People in San Francisco were getting sick from being poisoned by pollution. It was soon discovered by our junior detective, Ma-Ti, that Verminous Skumm was behind the poisonings. This was the first time we had encountered Skumm since Boris' death. It was a real personal test. I had wondered how I was going to react the next time we met up with Skumm, if I would freeze up, or in the case of poisoned seafood, clam up! Sorry, that was a bad joke. I guess Wheeler really has had an influence on me.

During the mission, we were following a lead and ended up on a trolley. I had always wanted to go to San Francisco and ride their infamous trolleys after seeing them on TV. Wheeler found a nice excuse to be close by holding on to the same pole as me. We did not say anything, just stood there, and enjoyed the ride. For the first time in months, I felt comfortable letting anyone get close to me. The moment was soon ruined when I mentioned we were going too fast. Wheeler thought I meant us until I clarified that I meant the cable car. Then we realized that someone had tampered with the brakes. Another missed opportunity. It was as if fate was conspiring against us. We just could not seem to get close without something or someone interrupting.

I think the first time I kissed him, it caught us both by surprise. He had just saved the team by feeding pizza to giant mutant rats that were attacking us while trying to save Galapagos Islands sea turtles that were being threatened by Skumm and Greedly. I had been giving him a hard time for ordering the pizza and not taking JASON's mission seriously. As it turns out, Wheeler's appetite had saved us so I impulsively ran up to him and kissed him on the cheek. Yes, it was innocent and by no means passionate, but for me, it was a huge step.

I think it meant alot to Wheeler too because on our next mission, he got extremely, unjustly jealous of the musician Sky Runner, who is Gi and my favorite rock star. It was silly. I was a little upset with him for behaving so immaturely. All was forgiven the following week though when I thought he and Kwame had drowned in Australia when someone was sabotaging the Blue Car Line to prevent people from using it, therefore continuing to increase air pollution. It seemed like forever until he…they resurfaced, and when they did, I could not get to him fast enough and wrap my arms around him.

Trouble seemed to be following Wheeler. A few weeks later, we lost him in Mexico after he hit his head and had amnesia. Fortunately, I suppose, he was befriended by a local girl who took care of him…maybe a little too well…in my opinion anyways. Of course, he maintained that he was innocent because he had amnesia. However, that does not explain his actions the following week when he was trying his best to impress some girl by pretending to know all about birds. I may have been a little jealous. I had every right to be. I thought he cared about me. I thought we were in a good place in our relationship, or whatever you would call it. Although we never claimed to be "exclusive," I guess I just assumed that he would have the decency not to flirt with other girls in my presence.

Yes, I was angry, but mostly I was hurt. All the little bird facts that he was trying to impress Jenny with were all things that I had taught him during our walks. I still do not know why he was trying to make me jealous. Maybe he was getting tired of our on again off again status. I am sure he blamed me for this, was hurt by it, and was letting me know that I am not the only girl out there, and he can have anyone he wants. I did not doubt that. But I also knew that he was not going to give up on me so easily, for the sake of his own pride. I ended up getting along really well with Jenny. She must have realized Wheeler was full of…you know what.

When we got home, I let Wheeler know that I did not appreciate his actions and if he really cared for me, flirting with other girls was not the way to show it. I told him he was free to see other people and I understood that I had been difficult to be with, but I valued our friendship and did not want to ruin it. So if that meant that we could only be "just friends" then so be it. He apologized and let me know that he also values our friendship, but was not satisfied with just being friends. However, if that was what I wanted, he would understand. I told him I did not know what I wanted. I was torn between what was right for the team, our safety, and what was right for me and my happiness.

Once again, we decided to give "us" a try. And as usual, we hid it from the others which meant when we were on missions, we tried to get paired off together. So it was no surprise that when we were in Venice investigating a virus being spread by rats, Wheeler jumped at the chance to suggest that he and I explore the canals. It was romantic, despite all the pollution. Just like on TV and in the movies, Wheeler and I were coasting down the canal, going under the bridges, and taking in the scenery. He knelt down and touched my shoulder. When I turned around to see what he wanted, I saw in his eyes exactly what he wanted. I wanted the same thing. Just as I leaned up to kiss him, an infected rat jumped into our gondola. Interrupted, once again.

Why was it that this kept happening? What had Wheeler and I done to deserve these constant interruptions? Why could we not just have our chance at happiness? We had our moments, true. There were times when we were able to sneak off and be alone, but even those were being interrupted. The others started coming with us on our after dinner walks. They thought it was a great idea to exercise after a meal, and it was, but that was not why Wheeler and I were going on them. Since the others had joined us, there was no hand holding, cuddling, or kissing on our walks. Wheeler wanted to tell them about us, then we would not have to sneak around or they would let us be alone. I did not want to tell them though. This lead to many arguments and accusations of me being embarrassed of him. This was not true. I just did not think it was anyone else's business. Things cooled off for a while, between all the arguments, and lack of alone time to sort things out, there was no chance for us to fix it.

It was like that for a while. It is sad to say, but the only time I felt the need to let Wheeler know how I really felt was when I thought we were going to die in Dr. Derek's "perfect world." We were saved right before I could tell him. Surprise surprise, another interruption! By this point, I really am beginning to think that it is meant to be like this. So I let it be. And it stayed that way for a while. Actually, it WILL stay that way forever since I decided I was leaving the Planeteers. It is for the best. We had been arguing alot on missions lately. That made my decision to leave a little easier…did it not? Nyet. It did not. And when did I start crying? I quickly wipe away at the tears that I did not know were falling and am startled back to reality when I hear someone clear their throat behind me.

I turn around to see Mishka standing in the doorway.

"I am going to make dinner. Are you hungry?"

It takes me a while to realize what he is saying. It has been so long since I have spoken Russian, let alone have someone speak to me in it; it takes a while to register. I had spent the majority of the last four years speaking English. I had gotten better at it too. I wonder if I will forget what I have learned?

"Linka!"

"What?"

"Do you want dinner?"

"Yes. Sorry. I was thinking about something else," I apologize.

"So I noticed. It seems as if you are a thousand miles away."

I am…or at least my heart is.

* * *

That seems like a good stopping point for now. How am I doing?


	2. Chapter 2

Forgot the disclaimer in the first part...Not mine...Don't sue...Please. You wouldn't get much anyways. Plus I'm saving up for the 2009 Camaro...you wouldn't want to take away my Camaro fund would you Ted Turner? Chevy's making more fuel efficient cars...I doubt the Camaro is one of them, but whatever. I'm gonna look great driving it! Captain Planet will understand!

And just a reminder, Linka and Mishka are speaking to each other in Russian, but we're seeing it in English (obviously I can't speak Russian and I'm betting most of you can't either, other than the basics that we only know because of the show!) that's why the "Da" and "Nyet" are now "Yes" and "No" in the dialogue.

* * *

An hour later, Mishka had prepared dinner and set my plate in front of me. Lyenevie Golubtsy--Mince and Cabbage Patties in Sour Cream Sauce. Why did a traditional Russian meal look so unappetizing to me? I had gotten so used to eating a variety of cuisine from the other Planeteers. My favorite meal, the one I will miss the most…macaroni and cheese.

"What is wrong Linka? I thought you liked this?"

"I do. I guess I just do not have much of an appetite. I am worried about Grandma."

"It is good you are home. Hopefully that will raise her spirits."

"Yes, maybe. Can we go into town after dinner? I want to ask around to see if anyone else is sick."

"Of course, but only if you eat something first. And be careful who you approach. Some people already think they know what is causing the sickness. It seems everyone has their own theories. Many think it is the new recycling plant."

"What? That is ridiculous."

"This is an old town Linka. People do not like progress and they do not like change. The mines have been overworked and are bare, but people cannot accept that and try to find other means of employment, so they suffer financially. The recycling plant provided a great opportunity for jobs, but those that took work there were shunned. They soon quit to avoid being out of favor with the rest of the community," Mishka explained.

"So people who were trying to provide for their families had to chose between working or being an outcast? That is so…so…STUPID! That is why this place looks like some of the third world countries I have visited! Progress is a good thing."

"Not everyone has seen the world like you Linka. And certainly living on a tropical island is not the norm. I am so sorry I had to drag you away from your new paradise home and bring you back to your 'dump' of a homeland," Mishka said angrily.

"I did not mean it like that Mishka. True, I have seen what it is like to live 'the good life' and I will not settle for this. I came back here for Grandma, and I am staying. However, I will need to find a job to support myself. The recycling plant sounds like an ideal place for me."

"I do not know Linka. You could end up making many enemies."

"I did not come back here to make friends."

"What I mean is, you might find it hard to meet a potential husband if he is put off by you working there."

"I did not come back here to find a husband either!"

"Of course not, but eventually you will find someone and no longer need a job. You just better hope that people will be willing to forget you worked at the recycling plant."

"My God, Mishka! You are just as bad as the rest of them! Besides, IF I do ever get married, perhaps my future husband will also be into saving the planet," I argue.

"Like that Wheeler guy?"

"Yes…I mean…or anyone else who is equally as concerned about the environment as him," I try to cover.

"I see. So I scared him away for no reason?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?!"

"NOTHING!" Mishka says laughing. "I am just teasing you little sister. I have missed that these last few years."

"Funny, I have not!" I say.

"So tell me. What has been going on with you? SHOULD I be worried about my little sister and a certain other Planeteer?"

"No. There is nothing to worry about. We are…we _were_ just friends."

"Good. I was worried about you being off on your own without your big brother looking out for you. I know how boys can be. We go after the first pretty face we see, and you, little sister, have a very pretty face. I would hate to see you get your hopes up and have your heart broken when someone else came along and caught his attention."

Bozhe moy, that happened all the time! Was it true what Mishka was saying? I cannot believe I never caught on to this. When we were together, Wheeler was great. When we were not together, he had no problems flirting with anyone that would listen. Oh no. Mishka is right! I have been a fool.

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself Mishka. I appreciate your concern, but I have faced some of the vilest criminals in the world. I think I can handle boys."

"I guess so. I have to keep reminding myself you are no longer a child. You have really grown up. I feel like you left as a child and are now an adult."

"That IS what happened! I was 15, now I am 19," I said.

"I know, but you will always be my little sister, and I will **_ALWAYS_** worry about you."

"Fair enough, then come with me when I go into town. People may be more willing to answer my questions if you are with me. I have been gone for so long and they probably still see me as the little girl that I was when I left."

* * *

It is a good thing that Mishka came with me. Just as I thought, no one was taking me seriously. The worst part was being accused of abandoning my town in front of a large crowd. Did they not understand that I left to help the planet, to help educate others and get people to change their destructive ways? Looks like I have some more educating to do in my hometown, and I will. Even if it kills me…which it almost did! If it were not for a stranger who pulled me out of the way at the last second, I could have been run over by a donkey cart! What a way to go! Was it an accident or was someone trying to get rid of me? I am just being paranoid. Why would anyone try to hurt me just because I thought the answers to the unexplained illness were in the mine, not the recycling plant? In order to prove that, I have to go check out the mine.

* * *

I was right. The mines _ARE_ dangerous. If it had not been for my mysterious rescuer, I would be dead. I wish I knew who it was so I could thank them. Perhaps it is someone who also believes that the mines are causing the sickness, but they do not want anyone else to know so they are keeping a low profile. Whoever it was, not only did they save my life, but in doing so, it enabled me to find out what was causing the illnesses. When I was in the water, there was sediment from the mine! We must get to the recycling plant and let the owner know what we found.

* * *

When we get there, a group of angry townspeople are preparing to riot, we try to stop them, but it is too late. They are destroying the plant and getting violent. They damaged the boilers and now they are getting ready to blow. We need to get out quickly, but before we can, the doors close and we are trapped. So this is how I am going to die? In a violent explosion. I hope that it will be quick and painless, but knowing that the end is near and there is nothing I can do about it is torture.

Suddenly the stranger appears, ready to save the day. I sadly inform him that he has risked his life for me one too many times. Who is this person? Only one person has ever been willing to risk their life for me, with no regard for their own safety. I wish he was here right now. There are so many things I wish I could say to him now. The stranger takes my hand and presses something into it.

"What is this? My ring? But how…?" Then it dawns on me. The familiarity, the reckless abandon, the total disregard for his own well-being for my sake…the eyes. "WHEELER!"

I throw my arms around him and have never been happier to see him. I am so close to kissing him like I have never kissed him before, to show him all the feelings that have been running through my head ever since he and Ma-Ti dropped me off. It is Wheeler who brings me back to reality and the severity of the situation. I do not have time to let him know how grateful I am because the plant is going to blow any minute. We need to get out and summon Captain Planet.

* * *

Once we are out, we let the others know that we need Captain Planet. He soon has the situation under control. Wheeler is eager to pick up where we left off in the recycling plant. It no longer seemed appropriate to make such a scene in front of a crowd…especially with my brother watching. After things have "cooled down" at the plant so to speak, we explain to the crowd what I found in the mine. The evidence is still in the fibers of my shirt. Now they are ready to listen and willing to do whatever is necessary to clean up the mines and fix the damage they caused at the recycling plant.

* * *

The rest of the Planeteers are preparing to leave. Even though I found out what is causing the sickness and my Grandmother is doing better now that the doctors know what they need to treat, I am still needed here. I say my goodbyes to the others, but Wheeler is missing. Mishka tells me that Wheeler is in visiting with Grandma. Mishka stops me to tell me that Wheeler is "quiet a guy." Of course, I already know this. Mishka lets me know that he is sorry about what he said earlier. He was wrong about Wheeler, and he can tell that the Yankee really does care about me. Once again, he is telling me things I already know. This is only going to make saying goodbye even harder.

When I enter the room, I see that Grandma has given Wheeler a "matryoshka" to remember us by. I tell Wheeler that the others are ready to go and that I just wanted to say goodbye. He does not put up a fight like he did before. He just sadly turns and walks away. When I thought I was going to die, all I could think about was how I wished I had told Wheeler how I felt. Now, I feel like I am dying again, only this time, it is not my physical being that is dying; it is my heart…my soul. But now that I have the chance to tell him how I feel, I still cannot seem to get the words out. All I can manage to say to him is "I _**am**_ sorry Wheeler," so I will show him instead. He is taken by surprise and does not respond right away. He no sooner does and I pull away. I cannot do this anymore. I have to walk away before I change my mind.

When I return to my Grandma's bedside, she can see my sadness. She takes my hand and tells me that what I did for our town was wonderful but that as a Planeteer, I can save towns all over the world. I cannot believe this! She is encouraging me to go! That is all I need to hear. As long as she is ok with me not being there, I can go back to the Planeteers with a clear conscious. I rush out and make Mishka promise to keep writing. When I open the door, I am shocked to see the others still standing there.

"What took ya so long?" Wheeler asks.

As we all walk back to the Geo Cruiser with our arms around each other, Wheeler does what Wheeler does best…jumps to conclusions and puts his foot in his mouth.

"Are you sure you wanna leave your beloved Mishka?" He asks sarcastically.

"Well, it is not easy. I have never loved anyone like I love Mishka." The look on Wheeler's face is priceless. I continue, "after all, Mishka is the best **BIG BROTHER** in the world!" The look on his face now is even better than the last one!

* * *

As we fly home, I take the seat across from Wheeler as I often do when neither one of us is piloting the Geo Cruiser. It is true, I will never love anyone like I love Mishka or any other member of my family, but I will also never love anyone like I love Wheeler. I may not be able to say it out loud just yet, but hopefully he knows. Someday, Wheeler and I will work things out and we will be together. This I know; as sure as I know that tomorrow, the sun will rise, the world will keep turning, and Wheeler will probably do something within the next 24 hours to make me angry. But for now, we will continue on as usual doing our duties as Planeteers. The truth is, no matter what the immediate future holds for us, I care for him, and he cares for me. Why else would we constantly keep finding our way back to each other?

Everyone was either flying the plane, or sleeping…everyone except Wheeler and me. We sat in silence while looking out the windows. Every once in a while, I would look over at him to see if he was sleeping. It is not like him to be so quiet or still. I can see by the reflection in the window that he also looks over to check on me. Eventually, he speaks up.

"Hey Linka…" he whispers as he leans across the aisle and holds out his hand.

I turn to face him and keep my voice low so as not to disturb a sleeping Gi and Ma-Ti.

"Da?" I ask as I take the hand that he is offering.

"I'm glad you came back," he says as he squeezes my hand.

"Da, me too."

"It wouldn't have been the same without you. _**I**_ wouldn't have been the same."

"Me neither."

"Really?!"

"Da, I would have no one to yell at, no one to make me angry, no one to irritate me…" As I see the disappointment on his face, I decide to hurry up and get to the point I am trying to make, "...no one to make me laugh, no one to make me the best macaroni and cheese, no one to make me feel special…Wheeler, no one will ever make me feel as many emotions as you do."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I do not know yet!"

"Well when you do know, you know where to find me. I know you said before that you weren't ready to say or hear certain things, and I can respect that. I don't wanna push you, but I already know how you feel. I don't know why you can't say it to my face, and I'm not about to attempt to try and get inside your head to figure it out. That's something you've gotta ask yourself. But when you are ready, I hope I'm still waiting."

"Are you saying that you are moving on?"

"Do you expect me to wait for you forever?" he asks.

"If you know how I feel, is that not enough?"

"No. It's not enough. It's not fair Linka. I'm ready. You're not. I can wait…I HAVE waited, but I don't know how long I can keep doing this to myself. It's been four years and every time I think we're on the right track, you pull away. Just like I'm sure you will after everything that happened today."

"I am sorry. I do not know what to say to you. I know what you want to hear, but I cannot put it into words. You scare me."

"How? I thought I was doing ok with not pushing too hard," he says.

"Nyet, I do not mean like that. I am not scared **OF** you, I am scared **FOR** you. You risked your life for me today…**AGAIN**. You always do it, and I am grateful to you for it. You have saved my life more than once and everything turns out fine. But what if…Wheeler, what if the next time something happens? What if you are seriously hurt or worse? I could not live with myself. The guilt would be too much."

"You've tried that excuse before Babe, four years ago actually. My answer hasn't changed. I will ALWAYS do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I could die saving your life and **NOT** be your boyfriend. What then? What would be greater? The guilt, or the regret for what could've been? And I know you'd risk your life for me too. You _HAVE_ done the same for me."

I reach over and place my palm on his cheek.

"I have, and I will again if I need to. I **DO** care for you Wheeler, but we cannot be together. Not yet."

"When? How long am I supposed to wait?"

I do not have an answer for him. I wish I knew.

"I do not know," I say as I look away from him.

"Then what was the point of all this? Why come back if things weren't gonna change?"

"So things can stay as they were?" I offer.

"That's not good enough for me anymore Linka. This 'on again, off again' bull crap has to end. When we're together, we're so happy. When we're not together, we're fighting and miserable. You can't tell me that's what you want," he pauses and waits for me to react. When I shake my head, he continues,

"You know what I want. Now figure out what you want. I'm gonna be 21 in a few months. It's not 'old' but I feel like some of the best years of my life have passed me by. I've never had a serious relationship. I'm ready for that. I really want you to be that person, but if you don't wanna be that person, I guess there's someone else out there that I'm supposed to find. I'm not saying this to hurt you, or put pressure on you to admit your feelings. I just want you to know, I'm ready. I'm not a teenager with raging hormones who's just trying to play you, and then drop you once you're out of my system. You're the only person I want to be with, but maybe things keep keeping us apart because I'm not _**SUPPOSED**_ to be with you," he sighs sadly, looks away from me, and releases my hand.

Wheeler moves back to his seat and turns his back to me as he looks out the window. Is he serious? Is he giving up? How much longer will he wait for me? How much time do I have left to tell him that I **_AM_** that person? Or maybe I am not. If I am, I would have told him I love him by now. If I am, why is it so hard to say it?

The End

* * *

Well Sportyscully, is that what you had in mind?! I had this written long before your "challenge" of writing a fic that was a Wheeler and Linka romance, but resist the urge to get them a couple! See, I can do it, haha! What did ya think?! When if first wrote this, I had the same challenge set for myself and I think that's part of the reason that I didn't post it as soon as I finished it. I wasn't sure if I was happy leaving their relationship unresolved...but in doing it this way, it stays true to the show. But don't worry, if you all are craving some romance, I suggest you re-read Finding the Way Home, and Here and Now...the third installment of that series is in the works!


End file.
